I’ve been kind of tapped out, focused on the art class that is underway and not really feeling called to flow any extra through me. Sometimes I feel guilty waiting for inspiration, while the rest of the world makes things happen. One of my favourite YouTubers talks about ‘hustling harder’ every day. She makes me smile when she says it, but making things happen feels like ramming my head into a brick wall. And I much prefer to wait for the flow then to give myself a headache.
I’m not here to impress anyone.
Last night we had a facilitator live video chat and I recognized some very subtle things about the training I have undergone in the past ten years. I’ve been trained to slow down, and when I think I’m slow, to slow it down another notch. When someone speaks I’m trained to listen, not just with my ears or with my heart, but my whole energy body. I’m trained to engage with the energy by ingesting everything at the subtlest level.
My training came from being in the company of some truly brilliant space holders and it was a privilege that not everyone gets. I found these women when I was in my mid-twenties, and I think they are the foundation of my adulthood now. Over and above anything I have encountered, those souls helped to awakened dormant parts of me, just because they sat in their own level of allowing. I’m just coming to realize how special a circumstance that was. Our Soul directed meeting was based on deep desires to know ‘truth’ and our coming together blessed my path deeply.
Sitting here this morning, full of gratitude, my heart is full, knowing the kind of people who have contributed to my unfolding on this soul journey. I don’t need to push for inspiration, or content, I need to sit in allowing. All I ever needs is to mind my own energy and not worry so much about the rest of the herd. It comes back to this, again and again, am I checking in with myself? Am I listening to the inner promptings that signal the stirring of some new inspiration? Am I learning to listen to myself as a fully embodied soul?