Waiting for Inspiration

I’ve been kind of tapped out, focused on the art class that is underway and not really feeling called to flow any extra through me. Sometimes I feel guilty waiting for inspiration, while the rest of the world makes things happen. One of my favourite YouTubers talks about ‘hustling harder’ every day. She makes me smile when she says it, but making things happen feels like ramming my head into a brick wall. And I much prefer to wait for the flow then to give myself a headache.

I’m not here to impress anyone.

Last night we had a facilitator live video chat and I recognized some very subtle things about the training I have undergone in the past ten years. I’ve been trained to slow down, and when I think I’m slow, to slow it down another notch. When someone speaks I’m trained to listen, not just with my ears or with my heart, but my whole energy body. I’m trained to engage with the energy by ingesting everything at the subtlest level.

My training came from being in the company of some truly brilliant space holders and it was a privilege that not everyone gets. I found these women when I was in my mid-twenties, and I think they are the foundation of my adulthood now. Over and above anything I have encountered, those souls helped to awakened dormant parts of me, just because they sat in their own level of allowing. I’m just coming to realize how special a circumstance that was. Our Soul directed meeting was based on deep desires to know ‘truth’ and our coming together blessed my path deeply.

Sitting here this morning, full of gratitude, my heart is full, knowing the kind of people who have contributed to my unfolding on this soul journey. I don’t need to push for inspiration, or content, I need to sit in allowing. All I ever needs is to mind my own energy and not worry so much about the rest of the herd. It comes back to this, again and again, am I checking in with myself? Am I listening to the inner promptings that signal the stirring of some new inspiration? Am I learning to listen to myself as a fully embodied soul?


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One breath is Movement Forward


One inhale marks our movement forward, an agreement to continuing to be here, expanding from a now point into the knew-ness awaiting. You can’t get breathing wrong.


One year from now we will be forever changed, even if we think that our outcome is the same as times before. And the only thing we can know for sure is this breath, in this moment. In order to slip seamlessly forward with ease, all that is needed is the ability to check in with your breath; it is the fullest connection to your now expansion point and it holds no judgement or attachment of your should’s and should not’s.


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New Year, New Directions

After having a very relaxing holiday with family and entering the year very slowly, today I find that I am beginning to return to my personal flow. It also happens that today is the day I embark on something new. 

I decided to take my artistic journey in a direction I have no business following for the sheer reason that it excites me and terrifies me with equal measures. I’m noticing that I feel entirely out of my depths this morning and am glad this journey will begin gently with baby steps.

There is so much comparison going on in my mind, with me coming up short in all areas. These women I am joining are talented, wise and open to joyful expression of their souls. They are absolutely beautiful and I’m wondering why I think I could ever pass into their ranks. The insidious voice of the critic is strong this morning, possibly because I am depleted. I haven’t had enough quiet alone time. My family and I had been travelling, and I picked up a flu bug that still hasn’t left me, those two things combined are enough to throw this introvert out of alignment.

Since my logical mind is whispering, “Just wait and see.” I’m in the midst of rangling my human insecurities into a manageable breathing exercise. I don’t feel fearful, just anticipatory of what is to come. Today, my first assignment is simple, it is to pick a flower that represents me and share it so the new team can get to know each other. I have many flowers that I like, and many that could represent me, but when I was searching for a picture I found a flower I didn’t know existed and it fits perfectly into how I feel.


Diphelleia grayi, or the Skeleton Flower, is a white woodland blossom whose petals turn crystal clear when they make contact with water. When saturated, it looks like a spindly ice sculpture. But once it stops raining, the skeleton flower reverts back to its original state. The reason it works so well for this first exercise is that when I am navigating the ebb and flow of my being I become delicate, vulnerable and open to those who are there to witness me. I’m also a water sign, so the element of ‘water’ making this flower crystal clear also makes perfect sense. I like when new things cross my path when I need them.

Today, as I continue to come back into alignment with ease and flow, I’m going to try to remember not to let my thinking get too far into the future.

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