My first encounter with meditation was being woken out of a sound sleep by my father’s energy in the early morning as a child. Being sucked out of my bed as though by a magnet and padding down to the living room to lay on the couch as he practiced in his own way was a great teacher for me. My father never kicked me out of the room and I knew instinctively that if I wanted to sit there I had to be quiet. I never asked questions, but the room was always full of ‘light’. I learned a lot through osmosis, as though being in that energy was important for my remembrances that followed.
When I started to meditate in a traditional way, I began with a book taken off my parents shelf and followed the instructions. I found that it was easy to slip inside myself and disappear for hours and I was captivated. There were various techniques and my favorite was the ones where I got to lay down in a ring of crystals and journey. By the time I was fifteen I was taking a weekly meditation class where I was the youngest participant and my questions baffled the instructor. I remember feeling disappointed that I didn’t have anyone to talk to about what I was experiencing. So I kept playing at it, without a language for what I was experiencing it become a way to feel more connected and grounded through my teen years. My friends didn’t get it, and I never seemed to line up with those in my same group that could give language to what I was doing.
One of the best teachers I ever had came along when I was in my twenties, she made the weird things that happen during meditation normal. It was at this time that I began to put language to what I had been experiencing. While that was validating and permissive, what I realized was that it really doesn’t matter what we call it. The experiences are all our own.
It doesn’t matter what you see, who comes to visit you, how your energy makes you vibrate or what light-show the energy takes you on. None of it really matters, what matters is that you are sitting and getting to know the stillness of your being. That connection is more important than having the mind engaged with importance. Weird things happen when you meditate. Wonderful, exciting things that make no sense to a rational and logical mind. The key is not to get lost in it, but to keep on meditating.
What does it mean? Keep meditating.
What should you to do with it? Keep meditating.
Are you special? Keep meditating.
Does this mean you have a purpose here? Keep meditating.
Do you see the pattern?