The energies are interesting right now. I’ve been cocooning myself, insulating against anything extraneous. At times I feel full of energy, buoyant. At others drained, foggy and sluggish. They can turn around quickly too. My body has been aching, weird twinges and sensations. Dreams have been intense, memories have been surfacing, old hurts, old patterns, fears, worries, connections … waves and waves of the old are being sifted through. The mental, emotional, physical are all undergoing a radical re-calibration process.
My boat is still afloat, but its been tossed around a bit. Its as thought I can hear the wind whispering, barely audible from the roar of the undertow, “Is that who you are? Is that really what you want to create?”
I am being offered a choice in every moment, to pivot or not, to twist or not. The choice was always there, but the intensity is just that much more noticeable now. For me, the choice itself feels like freedom, thought I don’t always pick immediate relief…and I have to laugh at my morbid curiosity and stubborn patterning.
It feels like I am working with life strands, not just this wee human experience, and some of them are entrenched deep in my DNA. Familial as well as collective, the macro and the micro all twisting and turning, undulating in the sea of creation.
Today, as I was sitting in the sun, drinking my coffee and feeling into the events of the past weekend I can feel that subtle voice once again. “Where are you focused? Are you sitting in love?”
As an empath, these times are hard, there is so much feeling that the process of clearing can be draining at times. Exercising discernment is imperative. Paying attention to what is coming up, but not hanging onto any of it, is a necessity. There is only one thing to train myself to focus on, and that is love.
“The world is violent and mercurial–it will have its way with you. We are saved only by love–love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share: being a parent; being a writer; being a painter; being a friend. We live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it, all the time, is love.”–Tennessee Williams/Interview with James Grissom/1982