I’ve been told that the underlying energies that are rising up now are normal & expected as we ride the waves of change into this new year. There are so many possibilities open to each of us. But in order to get to my own possibilities, I have some subtle work to do. I’ve been finding the ride into this new year intense, it leaves me in my deep vulnerability. I feel like a cork bobbing on the ocean. My energy has been opening and closing in a strange dance as though my wires are becoming re-worked. The cracks in my alignment are letting my inner shadows have a voice, so they can be seen and heard. But I don’t have to pretend to enjoy it. I recognize that I want to be faster, better and clearer…but it is like tugging on a shoot from a tender young plant, expecting it to grow faster; its just not possible to make things happen before their time.
In the past few weeks layers that I thought I had dealt with have been surfacing. New aspects of shadows that were deeply buried are coming forward to the light. It has been manifesting for me as fear and anxiety that I didn’t even know I carried. I can feel the shame of it just under the surface, like I am somehow getting my work wrong. That after all I’ve done I shouldn’t be here in this particular vibration.
On the other side of this, I’ve been watching these energies as the ‘observer’, fascinated at the stories that are coming up for release. There is clarity here, even in my confusion. I walk in two realities and trust in the process of deep subtle work.
It helps to talk about what I have been experiencing, it helps to notice the subtle similarities between my journey and those around me. Talking strengthens the feeling, that no matter what surfaces, everything is still OK. There are a lot of tools in place now for my use. There are also solid practices wired into my make-up, that kick-in to support me as I surrender. For these things I am deeply grateful.
I have read that at this time, the power of our throat, mind, and heart are forcing uncertainties up (and out) so that we can integrate the new energy into something more beautiful for our personal journeys. I love that I found that piece of writing at the perfect time. It reminds me this isn’t just my work, but the work of the collective. We have the potential to become lighter, and all we have to do is be willing to sit in non-attachment.
To aid in this, for myself I’m using Bach Flower Remedies, as well as paying attention to the subtle shifts and resistances that come up with as much love and tenderness I can hold. I know without a doubt there is nothing to fight, all fears and anxieties are just moments in time. I choose how I want to live, I choose where I want to focus and how I want to reinforce the light. Today, I will deepen my surrender into gentleness.