I had a wonderful day with my father yesterday. Once I chose what energy I wanted to focus upon the day progressed easily. I was the key component for change and all I had to do was get clear on how I view every situation. This is a practice. No one said it would be easy, or I would be able to do this 100% of the time and yet as I really do the work, it is getting easier. The muscles of the mind and emotional recognition are becoming fine tuned as I learn to value how I really feel.
So often we want others to be different, we want the situation to shift and mold to us in the way we want. “If you would just change, I would be fine.” But what I have found as I get into alignment with, peace, joy, love and harmony is that my world shifts into alignment with whatever my vibration is harmonizing with.
I laughed a lot yesterday. I made the choice to stay in my own personal vibration. Part of that is that I’m OK with my mother’s death. I have an expanded awareness of her that goes beyond the physical. Part of this is because I don’t focus on what I have lost, only what I have moved into. This is actually a choice. When I get the thought I would like my mother, I open my energy to her and a flood of light appears, or I can hear her voice in my mind. This is hard one to explain to people in grief. Its near impossible to access higher tools of awareness while focused avariciously to the depths of human loss. But it’s where we’ve been taught to focus, that death is loss and not expansion.
Those in their own personal grief bubble can get this intellectually if so inclined, but while they still cling to the idea of their loved one ‘as they were’ there is a missed opportunity for the deeper impact of what the loved one has become in the now. This is my observation and experience with choice. I have my tears, but I also have my choices and know where I want to point my focus.
Sitting in my clearest, highest vibration, my father and I had some deeper conversations and a very nice outing yesterday. There are some places with my belief system I just can’t go with him. But there are others that can remind him of his own personal belief that the he is part of a larger energy here. I could see how my personal mood was effecting his, he wanted to go down the rabbit hole of his grief and couldn’t stay in my presence while I was so happy. My joy actually annoyed him into calling my sister, which made me laugh. She is his life-line for grief, she is his human support and I am not. I think her ability to comfort him is wonderful, she hold a lovely ‘mother’ energy. I don’t want to be that for him, nor do I think I’m supposed to. It’s not the question I am asking. I want to be in vibrational alignment when ever I can and as such makes these magical times for us all. Nothing is ever as it seems.
I noticed that normally I would bring my vibration back down to meet another’s, thinking that it would be more sympathetic, compassionate, humane…but what I’m finding is that there is much more joy in finding what feels good than what matches another. There is so much more going on here than what my human can perceive. I love the teachings that are provided though my mother’s death, they are many and varied, and rich with growth potential. I bow to the wisdom of acceptance even as I choose my own vibe.