Sometimes the biggest lesson’s come from the old dog. How do I practice radical acceptance when being triggered in my own home? It takes me a minute, sometimes longer, but I’m kinda sorta good at this energy stuff. I preach radical acceptance, and believe it’s a necessary component to spiritual non-attachment. I am not perfect at it, but I do try. I love the concept that whatever is triggering me becomes the tool for navigating my personal spiritual journey. From this place, nothing is wrong, only a vibrational match to where I am sitting. And ANYTHING can be used to find alignment with the truth of who I am.
My match is currently is my 72 year old father. Indulge me as I bang the drum of resistance on my way to clarity.
He has been one of the biggest teaching tools in my life. A ‘Lightworker’ who revels in the title, he has been the catalyst for many of my spiritual questions. Mostly, he gets me to ask myself “How do I walk my talk in deeper and deeper ways?”
When he speaks, he shares a lot of the same revelations he had when I was six. He’s done a lot of outer work, but non of the deep inner work I believe is necessary for personal growth. That’s my number one judgment, remember I’m working through this so bear with me.
He’s really good at moving energy, he works with the grid-lines of the earth and sends energy everyday. He has a shamanic ability to communicate with animals and listen to the wind. He’s deeply empathic, with many of the other clair- abilities. In my opinion he lacks discernment in utilizing his skills and as such believes everything. In short, he’s a pretty cool guy to know, but lacking depth. In my opinion, and I’ve watched him my whole life, his biggest mistake is leaving himself out of the equation of energy, and as such looses the opportunity for deep humbling and growth; more necessary components for this journey. I’ll say there is a hug shift happening for him at this time, I’ll focus that there is some growth that is happening through my mothers passing and I’m enjoying it immensely. I just have a hard time with all the rederick. OK, maybe rederick is too strong of a word this morning, his information is real for his personal journey….
If I’m to get honest, and that’s why I’m here, I’m really upset because he’s in my therapy room at 5:45 am and I’m here on the computer working through a need to be deep in my magic circle. I like to work alone, it’s why I get up early without my kids awake. I like that time of day the best as things are still. I feel like a little kid who doesn’t want to share a toy and it make me feel shameful.
I was pissed to wake at my usual meditation time to find my therapy room door closed and his guest bedroom door open. I knew right where he was even without checking. It took me two glasses of water and 5 minutes to find the honesty and humor in my anger. I didn’t want to give it up. I wanted to make it about him and indulged myself. How often do we have plans that we are so attached to that our grip tightens even as we know we must shift into new waters?
With my interaction with my father I often wonder what I am missing in my judgments of his journey. Is it a matter of finding a powerful voice, standing firm in my Priestess energy? Or is it a matter of giving respect to the first generation, the one that began me on this path … How can I do both as I navigate my own personal practice? How can I stay in radical acceptance for all things? Allowing him to be just as he is without the need to change anything…
For me, it starts with letting him have my space as he needs it. He’s grieving the loss of my mother, can’t access much of his higher vibrations around her transition and he knows it. My whole house is a Temple, I don’t just use that room. He may need the healing energy of my personal space, the stillness of segregation more than I do this morning, and I may need to acknowledge humbly that family still triggers me.
I’ll pat myself of the back that my turnaround time is getting faster. I don’t allow things to fester as I once would. My father is what he is, a beautiful teaching tool for my spiritual unfolding. Maybe it is why he stays as he is without appearing to shift. He doesn’t need healing as his presence is the true gift.