I’m late to post, normally this flows out of me in the morning before the house is full of noise and the day is underway, but I’ve been turning words over in my head and had to do my inner work before the words would flow freely. I realized I was in one of those places where dichotomy reins chaotic, but only as long as I didn’t stop the momentum that was being gained. I know how to pivot energy. I’m a vibrational connoisseur, reading emotion and making a choice on the direction I want it to go is what I live for.
How to share the sheer delight of realization without feeding into the story…is it possible to translate my journey into the vernacular, or further more is it necessary?
Maybe not necessary, but writing helps to solidify the ah-ha moments, the depth of understanding that comes through the energy needs to trickling into the human in some way. I’ve also found that sharing helps. Without feeding the story too much, I’m told there is anger on the planet, but I don’t feel it.
Why? Because I’ve made a choice on where to focus. This is important and pivotal in how I react to everything. The vows I took, the things I spout daily are not mere lip service. This is a practice. This is what I am. And what I am is the observer that breathes into the stillness and listens for my own alignment.
People in my life don’t like that my alignment doesn’t look like theirs, it causes friction that can be felt when I bump against it. This only matters because I’ve decided that these others are important. I’ve given them meaning in this world. In all, there has been a twelve-hour window of being tested, posts set out by relatives, phone calls that challenge. Its taken me a few hours, but I’ve taken it all to my dropped down place, where the breath meets the flow and I am fierce in my convictions. This is what power looks like and why women were burned. Unwavering and fluid all at once. The ocean can not stop being the force that it is, but it moves because that is its nature. It will lash out wildly and undulate seductively in a span of hours but it is true to its nature, always.
I know my path, power and wisdom. I need no permission to claim it. I realized this morning that I had been looking for deeper permission from an outside source. I thought I was past that game, but found another layer of it and laughed. If I allow myself to try to please all the voices, mine will be silenced. In my turning it over I asked the deeper questions of my nature, am I arrogant, blind, confused … I want to know if I’m missing something, but the answers comes back a resounding ‘No’. I’m just that good at what I do, and humble too 😉
This is what personal choices look like. It’s taken me years to love this body, taken me years to stop being afraid I’m getting it wrong. The magic is the realization is that I can’t, I can’t get it wrong if I tried. Outside judgments can’t touch the core truth and there is a strength in knowing what works for me.