I’ve been sitting here thinking I have the most amazing people in my life, I’m richly blessed. Having created these wonderful touch stones of sanity for myself, I feel immense love in my heart for these wonderful souls who just ‘get’ me. I’ve created that for myself. I’ve taken the time to let them in and feel their love.
To those who feed my soul, offer grounding when I’ve misplaced my own, and who are willing to sit with me as I explore my personal truth, I say thank you. What a gift it is to have someone who will listen to you, and hear what you aren’t saying. What an honor it is to find a person who can pull the truth out of your words, lovingly and without attachment.
Today, I had a long talk with one of these people and came away feeling my heart expanded and my soul elevated. As I navigate through the acceptance of death and life, one layer at a time, many personal insights are being revealed. Today, I was reminded that I have no issue with death, that my grief process doesn’t have to fit into the same box as those around me. Nor do I have to process this event at the same pace as everyone else so no one is offended. I was reminded that it is OK to take care of me in any way I see fit, and that there is no right (or wrong) way to experience the majestic passing of a loved one. Tears are not a bad thing, nor do they mean I am not in acceptance of what is. Tears are an honoring of the emotions that have been exchanged.
My mother has expanded out of her physical, ceasing to be my physical representation of The Mother, and that is OK. Her passing is not a sad thing, though she will be missed, she was a great friend and wonderful person. By sitting at her side as she transitioned I was filled with awareness and nuance of the process. There was a subtlety to her leaving the body that would have been lost on me had I not been as open and allowing of expansion; and it was her that set the ground work for that understanding. I feel honored that my sister was able to sit in this place as well, it was a unique experience for both of us.
For me, as always, it will be the traversing the very human relationships that are left. So, to my teacher, my mother and my friend, I say “I feel honored to have walked this world with you. From my first breath to your last, you offered your aid, your insight and your wisdom. Always encouraging, accepting and nurturing, you were a wonderful mother and I thank you. I love you.”