Factor in what is going on in the Ukraine, Africa, Syria, Iraq, and India … there are a plethora of world events coming to the light that make my brain scream DO SOMETHING! It happens when I catch a headline, a conversation, the next paragraph of a book or see the news. It happened again last night, and I had to pause and breathe…I know it’s not enough, but it’s a personal start to a larger problem.
My textbook now? Social Work in Canada. The book I’m reading for pleasure? Fahrenheit 451. The time of year? Summer Solstice…coincidence?
I don’t like to give in to the thoughts in my head, but sometimes the best place to process and lay new thoughts is on paper; even if it’s virtual. So, here it goes, I felt the fear last night as I slipped into bed. I felt the choice between fear and love pull and tug at my heart until the wee hours. I thought fear was going to win, the collective belief is so strong. Then I remembered, there are thousands who are working for peace, unity, perspective, and equality. Millions of us reinforcing each other. We get caught up in what we are told, millions of us get caught up in the fear, there is much light in the world, what side do I want to be on?
It was touch-and-go for a bit, as if not surrendering into the fear would somehow disrespect the individuals pain and suffering. There is so much going on, how can one body hold all that anguish inside it in support of others? It has to move through, it has to be allowed to flow. Last night I had to find the will to surrender when I didn’t want to, when I didn’t know if it was the proper thing to do.
When I didn’t find it, through mantras and meditation, peace flooded back into my heart. The back of my heart opened and I could feel the other people who want positive change, right there with me. It doesn’t matter what background we have, we all want peace, love and good things.
Love is where I want to come from. People are so angry and scared and it’s not a good combination. My spiritual paradigms are bumping heads with what is in my face, and yet after sitting in the fear, really allowing it to wash over me, I found that coming from a place of peace brings more clarity. How can awareness transcend into the every day horrors?
Through choice. I’m choosing not to hate. I choosing not to be in fear. Those are the choices I can make. From this place of love only true action can take place. I love books, I always have, it’s a way of learning and thinking about different places in the world with open eyes. Two favorites that come to mind this morning are I Shall Not Hate and Man’s Search for Meaning both men have gone through horrors I don’t want to experience, but the made the choice to find peace and love within the situation. I don’t have to move across the world to learn from their wisdom, their counsel … I just have to surrender to it.