The magic of a well facilitated group circle is that it can teach a person about who they are in a deeper way. My first experience in a group circle happened years ago now, and it was based on a Heart Circle format by Tej Steiner. Everything about that six month experience colours who I am now and how I relate to others.
I’ve noticed a pattern in circle groups, people come to talk about what is going on in their life, share their stories with others. In the beginning people often start their sharing with “they do this”, “they say that”, “if only he would”, “if I could just get her to” … and then the “I” word is learned and everything beings to change.
The magic of a heart circle format is that you can’t hide behind the “I” statements for long, there needs to be an owning of your emotions, how you really feel, or you just spin in the story in a new way.
When I learned to view the world from the internal working of my emotions, I was able to claim my story and see what was really going on with me. I learned that what I think or say about others, always and unequivocally speaks about me.
How another person makes me feel isn’t about them and what they are doing, it’s about some part of me that I have the opportunity to heal or to grow into. Claiming my story sets me free of the never-ending loop of denial. It’s the place that I get to realize that it’s not about anyone or anything outside of myself and I have control over how I process my feelings.
The best part in that when you begin with how you feel, and then move to what you need from that, true authenticity follows.