I’ve ended an association and a deep lesson this week, and want to take a moment to mark the occasion. I’ve been processing a very interesting type of person lately. At first I thought it was all outside myself but as I’ve meditated on it I can feel it has more to do with me (and what I am asking to understand) than this person and what they are presenting.
What is clear is that it’s important to not feed the story. Today, I’m sitting with a lesson from The Course in Miracles. “There is nothing wrong with this world, the world isn’t real.”
Sometimes I forget my belief systems and need to refocus and the truth. It’s slippery business working through human relationships in authentic and pure ways. I think the best lesson out of this for me is that sometimes the best thing we can do for another person is to not be there to listen to them…really.
From the outside, this type of person is stuck in their story, spinning in self-pity and a woe-is-me energy, it feels sneaky, manipulative and grasping. Because it’s uncomfortable, I want to feed it so it gets what it wants and I can feel better.
What I’ve learned is that I can slow down even more in my interactions with this type of person, that I can engage subtle energy of relationship even deeper, and wait for inspiration. I don’t need to be pushed into action just because I’m uncomfortable with their issues. This is the beauty of being a counselor and healer, each client that comes to you is perfect for your own unfolding and healing as well.
I realized this morning, that I didn’t end the relationship because I liked the neediness, the feeding of my self-worth when this person called on me. My ego felt important in the helping, even as the interaction left me feeling uncomfortable. I have to take ownership of what my ego was doing in this short contract, but I know am now done and can see my part in the little drama clearly…again it is me that has work to do no one else.
In the future, I hope to learn to recognize how slippery and subtly I can move into self-importance before I get bogged down with other people’s issues. To love first, and to include myself in that love is very important.