I am important.
Once I decided to make the fact of my existence OK, I came to see that I matter. Period. End of story.
Somewhere in my upbringing I came to the conclusion I wasn’t loveable or worthy to claim my place. In my rational mind I find this fascinating, I have loving parents. I am the “baby” of the family and experienced a showering of love and affection throughout my early years. And yet, through gathering evidence to the contrary (subconsciously of course), I came to see myself as unworthy and unlovable.
Over the past ten years, I have been actively delving into my psyche and everything I uncover leads back to “that thing I do”. Just about every issue I every come across has to do with this one issue. I’m not loveable
What is happening now, once I clue into “the story” that is playing under the immediate issue, is I am choosing a new thought. And “the story” I have been telling myself is beginning to sound ridiculous!
I had to learn how to Surrender first. The surrender had to come when I wanted to feel better, more than I wanted to gather evidence and be right. It took courage to really look deep inside, and reveal the truth of who I AM.
Some of my dark places are unlovable, and yet that is what I have had to learn to do. I’ve had to own those pieced of me, and be unafraid to open those shadows to the light. Once I opened those places inside of me, I had to practice acceptance, because once I did then I had the opportunity to let them go.
Through all of this, I’ve learned to lean into (and not away from) the Source that I call God. And in doing so, have learned what transformative magic there is in Trust.
I am so grateful for the spiritual journey I am on. In Judaism and Islamic teaching both religions emphasizes the idea that those who are grateful will be rewarded with more; and as a practitioner of gratitude I have experienced the truth of this.
Surrender, Trust and Gratitude are at the centre of my spiritual framework and each play a part in my active transformation of thought.