I had a moment with my youngest daughter, and became aware of how normal talking about subtle energy can be in our everyday life. Also, how my awareness will dictate how I parent.
The context this time is through the potty training of my three year old. It has been 6 months of her willfully pooping in her pants, and I am getting frustrated. Frustrated because I witness her hold it when she wants to, and I’m the one who has to deal with the mess when she doesn’t. The conversation went something like
There was a hurried few steps to the bathroom and a
“Just sit there! Don’t move. I’ve got to get you some new clothes!”
As I rushed upstairs, I tried to remember to breath…Sure, I now had more laundry. Sure, I now had to clean up. But she wouldn’t be doing this forever… in the grand scheme of things, this was really such a little blip…
More composed, with fresh underpants, I came back to the bathroom to find a not-in-the-least-contrite three year old and immediately went into teaching mode. There was more talking at this point, mostly me trying to parent an un-parentable Being, and acting stern so she would get the point.
Then she hit me with
“Mommy? You still mad at me? You no feeeeel mad.”
You really must understand that this was all said with a big cheeky grin and her very knowing nod. I want so badly to stay in control as a parent, its how my mother (bless her) was a parent, and the model for most parenting I see. But there is no hiding anything from intuitive children, and I really had shifted my energy on my way to her bedroom and back.
No pretending could cover up how my energy was feeling to this little soul, so why try?
This is where I need my awareness most, in my role as mother. What rules am I parenting by? Who am I trying to be? Why am I really feeling what I am feeling? How can I be more authentic and honest with my child in every moment?
It serves them best when I am in my awareness. I then become a model for staying tuned in (to the truth of what we are) and hold that for them; it’s the best type of parenting I know.